she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
