I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
