I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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