so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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