The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
