I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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