What a fucking waste of an outfit
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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