there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
