looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
