she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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