U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize