So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
