I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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