I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
