it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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