i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
