Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
