the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
