love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
