Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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