butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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