if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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