So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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