i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
