i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
