Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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