I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
