Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
