hotel room ftw
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
