Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize