Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Randomize
