the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
