There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
