so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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