Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize