he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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