He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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