oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
