Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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