Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
