Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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