Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
