Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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