Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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