i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
