Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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