we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
