my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
