I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
