so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
