I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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