i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
