...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
