We need to rekindle our bromance
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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