My room smells like vodka and shame
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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