You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
