Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
