Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
