But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
