Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
